Part Tags: angst, heart to heart, fluff, mentions of misogyny, mentions of sex, mentions of threesomes
Part WC: 2815
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One Month Later
“Y’know, I’d look that depressed too if I was sticking it into a pornstar every night.”
Dean looks up into his office doorway to see Justin smirking over at him. He glares at the kid, wondering if he always has to be so crass, but Justin doesn’t break his smug grin.
“Get back to work before I dock your pay, asshole,” Dean grumbles, waiting until Justin has slipped away to look back at his brother. “Honestly, that kid is walking a thin fuckin’ line.”
“Hm,” Sam barely acknowledges, before a frown tugs at his brow. “He’s right though, you’ve been in a bad mood the whole time I’ve been here, what’s going on?”
Great, now Sam’s going to pry.
“Nothing, everything’s great,” Dean lies, grabbing his soda and taking a loud, obnoxious slurp, just to piss his brother off.
“Yeah, you’re just a ray of sunshine today,” Sam replies sarcastically, cocking an eyebrow, clearly knowing that Dean’s going to cave any second now.
“It’s not really something we should talk about,” Dean attempts to brush him off, grabbing another handful of fries.
“Since when has that stopped you before?” Sam scoffs. “So is it about Y/N?”
Dean huffs a breath, deciding maybe it would be good to get it off his chest, and if he’s going to talk to anyone about his problem, then Sam’s the one he trusts most.
“I think that our… private life is great, but I can’t help but notice that she doesn’t…” Dean struggles to find a way to explain himself, and Sam’s eyebrows only raise higher, a tiny smirk playing on his lips that fills Dean with instant regret.
“Get off?” Sam guesses.
“What? No… I’m just…” Dean heaves a breath. “I’m in the rare position of knowing what she’s like with other guys, and she says everything is great with us, but… it doesn’t sound like it… if you know what I’m saying.”
Dean keeps his eyes focused on the takeout diner food Sam had brought with him for their lunch meet up, and clears his throat, now only playing with his remaining pile of fries rather than eating them.
“I’m assuming when you say other guys you mean the actors for her job, right?” Sam asks.
“Yeah, obviously,” Dean grunts, feeling more and more embarrassed.
“Dean,” Sam scoffs, and Dean looks up, almost insulted by his brother’s amusement towards the entire thing. “You know that all that stuff is fake, right?”
“Doesn’t look it to me,” Dean grumbles, defeatedly.
“Jesus, I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation at this age. Dean, porn isn’t real. I bet you any kind of money that she’s faking it with them, and if she says she’s happy with you, then believe her.”
Dean ponders Sam’s advice for a moment, wondering if he could be right. “So you’re saying it’s all in my head?”
“Yep,” Sam nods, placing down his plastic salad bowl on the end of Dean’s desk before dusting his hands into his slacks. “I get it, dude. With her job, you’re bound to feel insecure sometimes, but that’s all it is for her… work. You’re the person she’s chosen to spend her personal life with. You’re the one that matters. And if it really bothers you and you can’t handle it, then you need to break things off with her now, before it gets even more serious.”
“I can handle it,” Dean insists, convincing himself too. “I’m not jealous,” he adds. “I guess I just always told myself she loved her job because it was easier to think of it that way than to think of her doing something that isn’t making her happy,” he admits, pursing his lips slightly. “Especially something like that.”
“All you can do is be there for her, dude. It’s her life, she’s gotta do what she wants with it.”
Dean sighs, but he knows his little brother is right, and he’s at least grateful he brought this up to Sam, and not the idiot out in his workshop right now that would probably just tell him to try harder, or make some crass comment about how he could do it better if Dean needed help. Dean offers his brother an appreciative smile and then thinks on his advice some more, wondering if he really is cut out for all this, afterall.
Dean’s still fussing with the table setting when he hears the latch on Y/N’s apartment door disengage, and so he clears his throat and straightens up, turning to greet her as she enters.
Instantly, her expression goes from exhausted to surprised, as she slowly closes the door behind her and smiles slightly.
“Hey, you, I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” she tells him, dumping her purse and coat on the armchair in front of her. “What’s all this?”
“Well, I figured you’ve had a long day at work, the least I could do is sort out dinner so you don’t have to do anything,” Dean tells her with a warm smile.
“You didn’t have to do this, Dean,” she insists, but the smile on her face tells him he didn’t make a mistake. Her eyes cast over the table where Dean laid out some candles and flowers and a bottle of wine with two glasses. “I was just going to get take out and crash,” she admits.
“You didn’t think I cooked, did you?” he smirks slightly. “I don’t trust myself to not kill you, so food is on its way.”
She giggles, shaking her head. “Well this is very romantic and elaborate for take out,” she notes, gesturing back to the table.
“I took inspiration from all those chick flicks you force me to watch,” he explains.
“You mean all those chick flicks you secretly love?” she teases, a knowing smirk on her face. Dean glares at her playfully, making her laugh some more. “Have I got time to shower?” she asks, biting her bottom lip.
“Sure,” Dean agrees with a nod.
“Great, as soon as I’m clean you’re gonna know how much I appreciate this,” she insists, already heading towards her bedroom.
Dean doesn’t have to wait long for Y/N to return, her hair still damp from her shower, and she’s dressed herself in a simple dress that looks great on her, even though she insists she looks like shit as she comes out of her room. Instantly, she approaches him and wraps her arms around his neck, reaching up to kiss him lovingly.
“Thank you for doing this,” she tells him sincerely, “you won’t believe the day I’ve had.”
“Tell me about it,” Dean implores, reaching for the wine to pour them each a glass. She takes hers from him and swirls the liquid around inside, sighing heavily.
“You don’t wanna hear about work,” she argues, timidly.
“Sure I do, it’s part of your life, you can talk to me about anything, Y/N,” he insists, making moves to sit at the dining table as they continue to wait for their food to arrive. Y/N follows suit and sits down, taking a large mouthful of wine and swallowing it in one.
“Fine,” she relents. “Today, I did a scene with two guys, and during a break, one of them approached me, and he wanted to know if we could hook up outside of work sometime,” she begins to explain. “I said no, of course,” she rushes to add. “Anyway, that annoyed him, and I guess he was pissed enough to take it out on me for the rest of the shoot.”
“What?” Dean chokes out, horrified by the very idea. “Who?” His grip on his wine glass tightens, but Y/N just laughs sadly.
“Dean, it’s fine, it wasn’t anything I’ve not dealt with before,” she tries to reassure him, though he feels anything but reassured by that fact. “It wasn’t anything really bad, he was just a bit more rough is all,” she shrugs, like it’s not a big deal. “Nothing a couple Tylenol and a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” Dean’s still speechless for a moment, wondering how she can just brush something like this off. “But, it does mean this wonderful effort probably won’t end the way you want it to, I’m sorry,” she adds, almost like she’s afraid she’s let him down.
“What? Don’t even think about that, sweetheart,” Dean insists, at least knowing his feelings on that, even if he is still trying to get his head around the rest of it. “Is there someone you can complain to about this? The director or your agent?”
Y/N laughs at his suggestion and shakes her head. “Dean, honestly, it’s nothing, I’ve dealt with worse, every girl in the industry has, it’s fine,” she once more insists. “Let’s just forget about it and enjoy this meal, yeah?”
Dean doesn’t want to forget about it, though, and he purses his lips, wondering how he can argue with her on this without crossing any lines. But before he can think of anything, there’s a knock on her door, and Y/N gets up to answer it before he can register what’s happening. He hears her open the door and politely greet the delivery guy, and turns his head to watch the exchange.
“Holy shit, you’re–” The guy cuts himself off and swallows hard, and Y/N giggles slightly. “Shit, sorry… I–” he flusters.
“Don’t worry about it, darling,” she replies easily, in a voice that isn’t quite hers. “How much do I owe you?”
“Urm… it was, urm… paid for already,” he finally splutters out.
“Perfect,” she giggles sweetly. “Well, have a good night!”
“Ye-yeah, you too,” he rushes out as she begins to close the door.
The fake smile that had been plastered on her face drops as soon as she’s closed the door and she heads back over to the table with the food in hand, placing it between them.
“Do you mind being recognised?” Dean asks, finding the entire exchange weird himself, and he wasn’t even involved.
Hearing men getting all starstruck and flustered over his girlfriend and knowing why is something Dean’s not figured out how he feels about yet. If a guy recognises Y/N it can only mean that he’s watched enough of her videos to know exactly who she is and what she does. And that means he’s seen her in a way that – traditionally – Dean should only be seeing her now.
He pushes the evolving thought out of his head, because he doesn’t want to ruin the night, and the last thing either of them need is Dean developing some kind of jealousy. When they first started dating, he thought her work was kind of cool, and he thought about if that meant she’d be more adventurous than the other girls he’s been with, and more confident and up for it more often. But he quickly learned that definitely wasn’t the case. If anything, most nights she would be tired and not in the mood, or saving her energy for her work. But that does mean that when they do find time to be intimate, it has always been something to appreciate more than he might’ve done before.
“Preferably not in my own apartment,” Y/N answers, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. “But I can’t complain, it’s part of the job,” she shrugs, dishing herself out some food onto her plate. “Does it bother you?” she asks next, looking up at him.
“It’s just new to me, that’s all,” he concludes, shrugging too.
A brief smile flashes over Y/N’s lips, but Dean knows her well enough now to know it’s fake, before she starts eating, focusing more on her food than him.
“So how was your day?” she finally asks, clearly trying to change the subject. Dean doesn’t mind though, and as he serves himself his own food, he clears his throat.
“Same old boring shit,” he shrugs, “Sammy came to the workshop for lunch.”
“Yeah? That sounds nice,” Y/N smiles.
“Yeah. I think I needed it, actually, he talked some sense into me,” Dean admits, feeling his cheeks heat up.
“About what?” Y/N pries, grabbing her glass of wine.
“Don’t laugh,” he almost begs. “I urm… I’ve been feeling a little self conscious recently because I was afraid that you weren’t… as into it as you are in your movies,” he explains, his cheeks only getting hotter. “But after what you’ve just told me, I think Sam’s right,” he concludes.
“What did Sam say?” she probes.
“That it’s all fake for the camera,” Dean explains, still feeling a little embarrassed that the thought hadn’t occurred to him without the need for someone else to tell him.
“Are you serious?” Y/N asks, slight amusement in her tone. “You were honestly worried about our sex life because of how I act in my movies?”
“Alright, I know I’m an idiot,” Dean grumbles, now utterly humiliated.
“An adorable idiot,” Y/N smirks fondly. “Dean… your brother’s right, it’s all fake. Hell, I could sit here right now and prove it,” she laughs. “It’s real with you, and that’s what makes it so good, I promise.”
Dean’s secretly far more pleased than he’ll let show on his face as he tucks into his food, thinking about Y/N’s words. He’s glad that he brought it up, as humiliating as it was, because having her confirmation has really put his mind at total ease now. At least, it has about that, but then his mind wanders back to what Y/N had said earlier on about the guy being an asshole, and he just wishes he could be there to protect her. Maybe if he was on set with her, men would think twice about disrespecting her. Dean certainly has no issues with throwing a punch or two around if he needs to.
Y/N laughs, like she can hear his thoughts and is amused by the idea, so he looks up at her and frowns.
“What?”
“I just still can’t believe that you’re in your thirties and your brother has only just popped your little porn bubble and let you in on the secret that it’s all fake.” Dean rolls his eyes at her teasing, shaking his head, but apparently she’s not finished. “Y’know, even some of the scenes are fake, right? Like, the guy’s not even inside me.”
This is new information to Dean, and apparently that fact shows up on his face, because she only laughs some more.
“In my defense, sweetheart,” he begins, clearing his throat, trying to regain at least a little dignity. “I’ve never seen behind the scenes of one of those things.”
With his own words, Dean gets an idea. That’s how he could play this to get onto that set. If he tells her he wants to be there to protect her, she’ll probably brush him off and tell him she’s fine, that she can handle it, but if he tells her he wants to see exactly what it’s like behind the scenes, destroy his ‘porn bubble’ once and for all, maybe she’ll be more inclined.
“Listen, I’ve never asked this because I wanna respect your boundaries, and I know you’ve been insecure about it in the past. But I think we’re close enough now that hopefully you trust me.”
“You want to come to the set?” she guesses. Dean doesn’t reply for a second trying to judge how she feels about that. She takes a deep breath and grabs her wine, taking a sip before licking her lips. “You don’t need to see me like that, Dean,” she refuses, shaking her head.
“Like what?” Dean pries. “Baby, I’ve already seen the filtered version of it all, surely that’s worse?”
“They filter it for a reason,” she counters. But Dean doesn’t reply, because that’s the real reason he wants to be there in the first place, and if he holds his ground, maybe she’ll give in. “Promise me you won’t judge me, Dean, that it won’t change things between us?” she pleads.
“If I wanted to judge you for any of this, sweetheart, I’d have done it the second I saw that first movie,” he argues softly. “I want to see all sides of you, and I want to support you, and this is part of you, so let me be there for you.”
“Fine,” Y/N relents, sighing heavily. “I have a shoot on Saturday, you can come to that,” she agrees. “But you need to stay out of everyone’s way.”
“I will,” Dean nods in agreement, smiling slightly, happy to be getting his way.
“And don’t embarrass me,” she adds with a playful glare, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
“C’mon now, sweetheart,” he scoffs, “when would I ever embarrass you?”

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