Soldier Boy’s POV

“Get the fuck outta here,” he grunts, climbing off of the bed. He watches the red head scramble for her clothes and then leaves the room. He doesn’t say anything, letting the silence of the room consume him as he listens out for the sound of the door opening and closing. Once it does, he turns his attention back on Y/N. She’s sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, her legs hugged up to her chest, and she’s staring mindlessly out of the window. 

The supe huffs a breath, making his way over to the bottle of whiskey to pour himself a measure. Y/N doesn’t say anything as he drinks, and then he grabs his cigarettes and lights one, looking over at her again. He can tell from her breathing that she’s not crying, which is a change for her right now. The last few months she’s been different. She’s stopped getting high, he’s noticed, and it’s just sucked all the fun outta her. She still gives him her blood, but it’s less enthusiastic than it used to be, like she begrudges parting with her precious supply, now it’s just a routine to her which is nowhere near as fun. The blood tastes different too, but the supe can’t put his finger on it. 

When he listens for her heartbeat, he finds an echo, and he wonders if maybe her being clean is fucking with her more than the drugs were.

She finally seems to come back to the room and looks over at him. 

“She’s gone?” she questions, uncurling her legs from her chest. 

“Well it’s hard to get off when you’re girlfriend is ruining the fuckin’ mood,” he grunts. 

“I’m sorry, I’m trying.” 

Soldier Boy can’t help but scoff at the statement. 

“Are you fucking trying?” he challenges. He’d thought that not really bringing it up would be easier, that they wouldn’t have to talk about whatever the fuck is bothering her and she’d just get over it. But he’s getting pretty damn impatient, especially when it’s ruining all his fun. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve been like this for months. Are you still fuckin’ caught up on that fucking guy?” 

“Tristan?” she frowns. “No… no I’m not, I…” she trails off as Soldier Boy stares her down, and then she concludes: “maybe.” 

He clenches his jaw at the confirmation that all this is still about one fucking guy. 

“Why?” he scoffs. “Why do you fucking care, Y/N? The guy is dead, it was months ago, move the fuck on.” He stubs out his cigarette, now more frustrated than before. “What, you fuckin’ loved him or something?” 

At the accusation, Y/N rushes to her feet, stepping closer to him.

“Of course not, Ben, I barely knew him and I love you. You know I love you.” 

“You’ve got a funny way of fucking showing it,” he laughs bitterly. “You won’t fuck me, you won’t play our game,” he reminds her. “Starting to think all you’ve ever really loved is getting high.” 

“No, Ben…” she shakes her head, “you know I don’t do that anymore.” 

“Right, you’re fuckin’ sober now,” he mocks. “Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you just need to get high again.” He heads over to his nightstand, reaching inside for a pill bottle and throwing it over to her. “Take something, won’t you? So you stop being such a miserable little bitch.” 

She catches the bottle and stares down at it, tears starting to fill her eyes. “I can’t, Ben,” she chokes out. 

“No? Why not? You used to be really fucking good at it.” 

“They make me worse now.” 

“But at least you’d fucking fuck me.” She looks back up at him, tears effortlessly streaming down her cheeks. But the supe isn’t deterred. All this should’ve been said a long time ago. “See, you say you love me, but you won’t fucking touch me. You’ve not touched me since the last time you got high at Vought, so how the fuck am I meant to believe you?” 

“You’ve got the other girls to…” she trails off, shaking her head. “I just can’t Ben, I’m sorry,” she sobs out, tears now starting to pour down her face. “I can’t even… I can’t even touch myself without feeling like… I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” 

“Jesus Christ,” he grunts, starting to remember why he hadn’t said anything in the first place. Now she’s crying and now he’s got to fuckin’ deal with it. “What the fuck is wrong with you now? Why are you crying?” 

She tries to stop herself, reaching up to dry her cheeks, and Soldier Boy waits.

 “There’s something you don’t know,” she confesses, still sniffling. 

“What don’t I fucking know?” he presses impatiently, reaching for his cigarettes once more and lighting another one. “Well?” 

“That day at Vought… Homelander found me and…” she stops, taking a deep, shuddered breath. “He… forced himself on me.” 

“What?” he grunts out, not sure he heard right.

“He… threatened me… he made me feel like I had no choice.” 

“You fucked him?” he asks, checking he’s understanding right. He needs a drink. He heads over to the whiskey again and pours himself another measure.

“I didn’t want to, I swear,” she rushes to tell him, shaking her head desperately.

“So he pinned you down and forced himself inside you?” he tries to clarify, taking a swig of drink. 

“Well… not exactly. But he made me feel like I had to,” she admits, looking down at her hands. 

Soldier Boy scoffs, throwing the glass. It smashes on a wall somewhere behind her, making her jump. “You can’t get high and have a fucking urge to fuck some guy and then cry rape.” 

“That’s not… it wasn’t like that,” she argues, tears now streaming down her cheeks once again. 

“So you weren’t high?” he asks, knowing full well she would’ve been.

“I was, but… I didn’t have an urge, Ben, I promise I didn’t want it.” 

Soldier Boy laughs humorlessly, starting to pace. Who the fuck does this girl think she is? He made her feel like she had to? That means she still would’ve gone along with it. She still would’ve sat on his fucking cock and let him fuck her. Who the fuck does this girl think she is?! And who’s to say she didn’t want it? That she only thinks she didn’t want it now she’s got a guilty conscience. She fucked all those other people he’s brought back. Why not someone like Homelander? America’s biggest, bravest superhero?

“Why should I fucking believe you? You were high and you’re a fucking whore,” he shouts. “How many other people have you fucked with me right here? All those girls… Tristan… you’re just a nasty little slut who’s sad she got caught out.” 

“Ben… no please, you have to believe me, please. I fuck those girls for you. Tristan was for you…” 

“For me?” he interrupts with a scoff, shaking his head. “Are you fucking kidding me? Maybe you are high after all.” Y/N shakes her head at the accusation, but the supe isn’t done. “Bottom fucking line is, doll, that you cheated on me with Homelander of all people. And you can cry rape all you want, but I don’t fucking believe you.” He can see the panic in her eyes at his words, and he just wants her to know how pissed off he is. “I loved you, I gave you everything, I tried to make you happy. How could you do this to me?” 

“I’m so sorry,” she whimpers. “Ben, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything. Please… I’m sorry,” she begins to beg.  

“You will be,” he laughs coldly, closing the space between them. He reaches up and wraps his hand around her throat, pushing her over to the bed and pinning her down onto it. “You wanna know what it’s really like to be raped?” he growls. “Did he pin you down like this? Force his body over yours?” 

She shakes her head, her breathing getting more and more sporadic. Ben grinds his groin down into her, making her start to cry harder.

“Ben, no. Please don’t do this, please…” she starts to beg. 

“Is that what you said to him? Hm?” he prompts, already pushing her sweatpants down her legs. She struggles against him, but the poor girl hasn’t had a chance to harness her full potential yet, so she’s got nothing on him. “Did you beg him to stop? Did you cry and tell him no?” Once again she shakes her head, which makes him scoff. “He didn’t fucking rape you,” he concludes, reaching between them to open his pants and pull his cock free. “But I will.” 

He doesn’t waste any time forcing himself inside her, making her scream out. She throws punches, thumbing the sides of her closed fists into his chest and tries to wriggle out from underneath him, but he can take it fairly easily and still fuck into her hard and fast over and over again. He reaches up and chokes her, so hard she can’t breathe, and when she tries to speak, no sound comes out. Her lips curl around words she’s not able to vocalise, and she stares at him wide eyed until her eyes flutter closed and she stops struggling, her body going limp. 

Soldier Boy lets go, moving her and manipulating her with ease onto her front. He grabs her ass cheeks, spreading them open so he can see the way her cunt stretches around his cock, and he feels himself throb at the sight as he starts fucking into her hard and fast the way he’s missed for months. None of the girls he’s been fucking can handle him the way Y/N can. She feels different somehow. A little tighter. Maybe because it’s been so long. He fucks her this way until she’s coming back around, and instantly she starts struggling again, managing to get away. 

“Get the fuck off me,” she grits out. 

Soldier Boy can’t help but laugh at her sudden fighting spirit. 

“See this is what the fuck you should’ve done when Homelander raped you. But I bet you just lay there with your legs spread and fuckin’ took it, didn’t you?”

“Fuck you,” she grits out, announciating every syllable. 

“I wasted so much fucking time on you,” he tells her, sighing heavily. “Tried to make you the perfect little toy. You almost ruined it by trying to be like me, but I fuckin’ forgave you.” Y/N just stares at him, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. “And then you repay me by fucking Homelander.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “I should fucking kill you. I should show you that you’ll never be as good as me. You’ll never be like me.” 

“No, no Ben, please don’t, please…” she starts to panic. “You don’t want to do that,” she pleads.

“And why not?” he questions, frowning slightly feeling the heat start to build in his chest, knowing all it would take is one blast to strip her of her superpowers. Then he could kill her with one squeeze of his hand around her neck. 

“Because I’m pregnant, Ben,” she chokes out, clutching her stomach. “I’m having a baby.” 

Soldier Boy laughs, not believing her, “another fuckin’ lie?” he guesses. “You’ll say anything to save your own life, won’t you?” 

“It’s true, I didn’t tell you yet because I don’t know whose it is. I want it to be yours, though, I really do,” she tells him, tears glazing over her red bloodshot eyes again. 

The supe clenches his jaw, not sure he can believe her, but then he once more tries to focus on her heartbeat, and underneath the loud, fast thudding of hers, he can hear that echo again. Only it’s not an echo, it’s a smaller, softer steady beat. He looks back up at her face, his eyes wide, and he swallows. 

“Please don’t kill us.” 

He doesn’t reply for a moment, his brain still trying to process the new information. He’d always wanted a family, and he’d always assumed given his powers that that might not be possible. And he realises now that they were never careful, so it could easily be his. 

“How… how far along are you?” he asks, frowning slightly. 

“I don’t know yet, I was going to go back to Vought, but–”

“No,” he interrupts, shaking his head immediately. “Vought can’t know about this.” 

“What? Why?” she frowns slightly. 

“Why? Are you fuckin’ kidding? They’re the ones that turned you, without your permission. They’ll… they’ll try to control you and the baby, and you can’t trust them,” he tells her, desperate for her to believe him. The last thing he wants is Vought getting their grubby fucking hands on his kid. He won’t let that happen. “And if Homelander finds out about this… that the kid could be his…” he trails off, shaking his head, not even wanting to think about what that could mean. “The guy is a fuckin’ pyschopath, who knows what he might do.” 

“Careful, you sound like you suddenly care,” she warns, looking at him sceptically. 

And the supe can understand why she might not be so quick to trust him, especially after what had just happened between them. But things have suddenly shifted. Everything is different now he knows. 

“Of course I fuckin’ care, sweetheart,” he tells her, as sincerely as he can. He’s not used to having to be that honest, though, so he’s not too sure how it comes across.

“So if I can’t go to Vought, what do I do?” she prompts. 

“You leave now… you go somewhere no one can find you, not even me. If I know, you’ll be in danger.” 

“This just sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me,” she scoffs, climbing off the bed and grabbing her sweatpants to pull back on. Now he knows, the supe is sure he can see the slight beginnings of a baby bump, but maybe he’s making that up. 

“Listen, I don’t blame you for not trusting me, but please… just promise me you won’t go to Vought.” 

She sighs heavily, reaching down to cup her stomach again and then nods. “Okay.” 

Soldier Boy lets out a breath of relief at her confirmation, and he swallows hard, nodding his head. 

“Are you sure you can’t know where I’m going?” she presses. 

“I want to know, trust me, but it’s safer this way.” She seems to scoff to herself for a moment but relents and nods her head. “I promise you, if it’s ever safe for me to find you, I will.” 

“Okay,” she sighs, not able to look him in the eye anymore. He steps forward, but she maintains the distance between them, stepping back. “I really did love you,” she adds, finally looking at him. 

“I know, and I guess in my own fucked up way, I loved you too.” 

SIX YEARS LATER

“Are you sure this is the right place?” the supe asks, his eyes casting over the little cottage. It’s the only place in what’s probably a five mile radius, and he can’t imagine what issues Vought would have with whoever lives here. But then again, it’s not his job to ask the questions. 

“This is it,” he hears through his earpiece. 

“Alright,” he huffs, tightening his grip on his shield and moving to a closer tree for a better look at the place as he tries to scope out a good enough entry point. He notices a side door and heads towards it, happy to find it open, so he lets himself in quietly, finding the house is quiet. Maybe they’re not home. 

He moves through the dining room towards what looks like the kitchen, but stops when he hears a female voice.

“This is your last one, okay? We’re gonna run out if you keep eating them.” 

Soldier Boy’s eyes widen as the woman enters the room and stops dead in her tracks when she sees him. 

“Y/N,” he splutters out. 

She doesn’t reply at first, she just stares at him, and he swallows hard, not sure if he should say something else. 

“Mom?” A boy’s voice carries through the house, and the kid ends up in the kitchen with them, his short brunette hair getting in his eyes a little. He stops when he sees the supe, and instantly, Y/N stands in front of him, like she’s protecting him. 

“Woah, are you Soldier Boy?!” the boy asks excitedly. 

“Tristan, why don’t you go and play with your legos for a moment, okay?” she asks him, smiling slightly at him. 

“Okay, but can he sign my comic book?” 

“Maybe,” she nods. 

“Can I get my cookie?” he asks next. 

She grabs a plate full of them from the counter and hands him the whole lot, and the kid grins and walks away already shovelling them into his mouth. Ben can’t stop looking at him, wondering if he can find any resemblance to himself in the kid or not. 

“What are you doing here, Ben?” she asks quietly, licking her lips. “Is it finally safe?” 

“What’s happening in there?” a voice asks in his ear. 

Soldier Boy reaches up and removes his earpiece, crushing the device into pieces between his fingers. Y/N just stares at him wide eyed, waiting anxiously for his reply. 

“You need to get out of here,” he finally tells her. “Just take the kid and go. I might know someone who can help.” 

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