Chapter Tags: nerves, anxiety, fall out, making up, heart to heart, reconciling, angst, gross stuff like fluff and romance
Chapter WC: 2947
A/Ns: Hope you’ve enjoyed this ride as much as I did! ❤️ The full fic is available to download in PDF form for free at the end of the chapter! ❤️
EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER
Jensen’s POV
Jensen takes a deep breath, rubbing his sweaty palms into the thighs of his slacks, feeling his heart thudding in his chest. He looks himself in the eye through the reflection of the mirror and clears his throat, making sure his tie is straight and his hair is in all the right places. Reaching down for the faucet, he starts to run the cold water, wetting his fingers to splash a little on his face. His legs start to jiggle nervously as he tries to shake it off and compose himself once more.
Last time this happened, things didn’t end well. Is he really sure he’s ready to do it all over again? It’s been a long time now, granted, and this time it feels better – more natural – but naturally the doubts are still swimming around in his head. Things are different now, he keeps reminding himself. He’s ready for this, and it seems like the right time. He just hopes everyone else is ready, too. That’s when his mind drifts to Jared, and how he thought things would work out differently than this. Jensen’s not sure he’s ever been this long without his best friend since they met over twenty years ago. It seems so strange to him that Jared would let it go on so long. While Jensen appreciates that the guy has every right to hold a grudge, Jensen had thought – hoped – it wouldn’t have lasted this long. Especially for Y/N’s sake.
But then that’s not entirely Jared’s fault anymore, Jensen realises. At first it was Jared’s call, missing phone calls, avoiding the two of them. Y/N would get through to Clarissa who would always say the same thing; he just needs more time. But as much as Jensen loves the girl, Y/N is stubborn, and eventually, she started to push back. She was the reason that she and Jared didn’t reconnect. And Jensen can only assume that like father, like daughter, it became a vicious circle that Jensen and Clarissa found themselves caught going around in.
Jensen has always felt uncomfortable with being the reason Y/N hasn’t been speaking to her father. With her mother well and truly out of the picture, it’s not like she’s had an abundance of family to turn to. But she’s seemed content in the last year and a half with Jensen, and only Jensen. He supposes that’s a good sign for them as a couple, but he can’t help hoping that things will change, that she and Jared will reconcile one day, even if Jared never extends his forgiveness to Jensen.
With his thoughts a little more jumbled, Jensen tries to focus on what’s right in front of him, only able to worry about the here and now, and not whatever might happen after tonight. He straightens his suit jacket, tugging on the sleeves, and hears a soft knock at the bathroom door.
“Everything okay in there, baby?” Y/N calls in softly.
“Yeah, I’ll be right out,” he calls back. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, ready when you are,” she confirms.
Jensen lets himself out of the bathroom. Y/N is nowhere to be found so he heads downstairs, seeing her standing at the breakfast bar, nursing a glass of wine. He instantly smiles when he sees her in the new dress she’d bought for the evening.
“Wow, baby girl you look stunning,” he gushes, unable to take his eyes off of her, his nerves settling just a little at the sight of her.
“You too,” she chuckles softly. “So, are we ready for this?” She grabs her purse, clutching it against her stomach. “I mean… as ready as we’re gonna be,” she laughs.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Jensen nods. “But there is one thing I need to come clean about first.”
Jensen offers Y/N his hand as he helps her out of the car, and when her eyes take in the scenery of the city before them, she laughs softly, shaking her head. She’s more carefree than she started the evening, so that’s something at least.
“I’d have worn different shoes if I knew we’d end up here. And I wouldn’t have bothered buying such an expensive dress. I can’t believe you lied to me, you know how much I stressed about that party,” she glares playfully.
Jensen chuckles softly, shrugging. “C’mon, when have I ever thrown a faculty party in November?” he scoffs.
“Well I thought it was some kind of peace offering now our relationship is public,” she defends.
“I don’t need a peace offering, I’m the boss. I can date who I want,” he argues, watching her step closer.
“There’s a lot of whispers, y’know? The people who knew me when I was a student have a lot of questions about us.”
“I’m sure they do, but we can let them wonder,” he tells her softly, smirking before kissing her gently.
“So why didn’t you stop me spending so much money on this outfit if you knew we were just coming here?” she wonders, turning her head to look at their breathtaking view.
“Because you looked too good in it to let you walk away from it,” he argues. Y/N shakes her head, clearly flattered by his words and clears her throat.
“Not that I don’t appreciate the romance of this whole thing… but what are we doing here?” she prompts.
Jensen’s starting to become a little more anxious again now as he plays with his suit jacket and steps back.
“Well,” he begins, reaching for the inside pocket. “We do have a dinner reservation after this, but there’s something I wanted to do first,” he explains, feeling his cheeks heat up.
“Okay,” Y/N laughs slightly, clearly confused.
Jensen clears his throat, pulling out the box from his pocket and getting down onto one knee. He opens the box and watches as Y/N’s eyes widen and her hand comes to her mouth to cover it.
“Y/N Padalecki, from the first time you kissed me something shifted, and I just knew things would never be the same again. I know we’ve always been unconventional, and there will always be people who don’t understand or accept us, but that doesn’t matter to me. All that matters to me is I never have to feel the pain of losing you again. I told you I wasn’t going to let you go this time, and I meant it. So, why not make it official?” he asks. “Will you marry me?”
Your POV
“Well? Will you?” Jensen prompts.
You realise you still haven’t responded. Your throat has closed up, tears spilling down your cheeks, and your heart is racing a million miles an hour. Both excitement and dread fills your veins as you stare at the diamond ring nestled in velvet, seeing the way the city lights catch in it and make it sparkle.
“I don’t know,” you find yourself saying.
Instantly, Jensen looks a little deflated, dropping his hand and taking the ring with him.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” he asks, swallowing hard.
“No no, God, no Jensen,” you rush to reassure him, “I don’t mean… well, I mean…” you take a deep breath, struggling to calm your mind so you can give him a clear explanation. “I love you so much,” you confirm, swallowing. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But Jensen, I’ve never envisaged my wedding without my Dad there,” you admit, feeling a different type of tears start to fill your eyes. “I can’t… I won’t be able to marry you without his blessing.”
Jensen looks even more deflated now, but he swallows hard and nods his head.
“I understand,” he confirms, getting up to stand at full height again.
“Jensen, I’m sorry…” you shake your head, feeling heartbroken that it didn’t go how he wanted it to. But you have to be honest with him. Your honesty with each other is the biggest reason this entire relationship works so well.
“Don’t be sorry,” he insists, “I do understand,” he nods.
“So maybe I should go home…” you tell him, biting your bottom lip anxiously at the very idea. “And invite my father to our wedding.”
You wait nervously on the doorstep, glancing back towards your car. You knew you’d regret insisting on doing this alone, but you know that showing up with Jensen by your side isn’t going to help anything. Maybe you can get through to your father on your own. Your heart stops when the door opens, but before you can freak out too much, you see Clarissa and feel yourself getting swept up in a hug.
“I’ve missed you,” she sighs, hugging you tighter. You smile slightly, hugging her back.
“Missed you too,” you reply as she lets go.
“C’mon, he’s inside,” she explains, stepping to one side. “I haven’t told him.”
The thought of your father not expecting you only makes you more nervous, and you know it could go one of two ways. Either the shock of you turning up will anger him, or catch him off guard enough that maybe he’ll hear you out this time. Your childhood home hasn’t changed a bit since you last visited, and you wonder if he’s kept your bedroom the same, or if he’d eradicated all traces of you out of pain. But before you can think about that for too long, you find yourself standing in the doorway to the kitchen, seeing your father pouring boiling water into a mug.
“Hey Dad,” you call out bravely. Jared turns around, almost dropping the kettle when he sees you before quickly placing the hot object back on the stove.
“Y/N,” he chokes out, his eyes widening.
“Been a while,” you comment, trying to sound casual while feeling anything but. “You haven’t changed,” you notice. Jared remains silent, just staring at you, and so you bravely step a little further into the room. “I thought it was time we made up,” you explain nervously, playing with your fingers in front of you.
“Tea?” he finally asks, pointing at his mug.
“I’m fine,” you insist, just wanting to get this over with already.
Jared clears his throat as he grabs his drink and heads over to the dining table. You take a seat opposite him, playing with your fingers on the table top and letting the uncomfortable silence build.
“You’ve changed your hair a little,” he notices. You instinctively reach up to touch it and offer him a weak smile, nodding in confirmation. “I like it.”
“Thanks,” you reply quietly.
“I should’ve come to see you sooner,” he says next, surprising you. “I’ve just been busy with work, y’know?”
You know it’s a lie but you pretend to buy it at first, wanting to remain as civil as possible. But then you realise that this doesn’t work unless you’re both completely honest with each other.
“Are you sure it’s not because of Jensen?” you ask bluntly.
Jared scoffs, looking down at his tea and playing with the string for the tea bag. “What do you want me to say, Y/N?” he asks exasperatedly.
“That you’re happy for me? That you’re happy that I’ve found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? That I’m your daughter and you’ll love and support me no matter what…” Jared shakes his head, looking away. “Dad, please. I know it’s not what you might’ve wanted for me, but Jensen is my person. You know better than anyone that we can’t help who we fall in love with.”
“Me falling in love with Clarissa is nothing like Jensen,” Jared insists stubbornly.
“I’m not saying it is, Dad, but you still fell for someone you knew you shouldn’t have. Do you think me and Jensen just didn’t care? That we just fell into bed together on the first day? No, we fought this, we tried to ignore it and do the right thing. Jensen especially tried to stay away the first time. You know what I was like as a teenager, so you can’t blame him for that. And then when I got the job, we both tried so hard… of course I didn’t want to cheat on Drew. Drew was a great guy and he loved me, and I knew he didn’t deserve me being in love with someone else. I didn’t ask for any of this. But I love him Dad, with every fiber of my being. He makes me happy, he makes me feel like the most important person on this planet. You should want that for me.”
Jared stays quiet for a moment, considering your words.
“Of course I want that for you, sweetheart,” he relents, sighing. “But you’ve got to understand how hard this is.”
“I know, Dad, I know…” you nod, agreeing. “You have been the best Dad I could’ve asked for. You never left me like Mom did, you tried your best. Hell, you even let me think my Mom wasn’t a total bitch so that I wouldn’t hate her for leaving. You’ve done so much for me, and I know I don’t deserve to ask for more, but this is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you. Please, try and accept my relationship with Jensen, because we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Hell, we wanna get married…” you confess. “But I can’t do that without you. Please don’t make me pick between the man I love and my family. Please.”
“You want to marry him?” your father asks, looking you directly in the eyes.
“Yeah, I do,” you admit honestly. “He asked me and I wanted to say yes, but I can’t until you accept us.”
Jared takes a deep breath, his jaw clenched, and he plays with his mug again. “Well, he better ask my permission,” he finally says. “No daughter of mine is getting married without my say so.”
“Are you going to say yes?” you press, skeptical.
Jared licks his lips and shrugs. “Why don’t you tell your boyfriend to ask me and we’ll see.”
SIX MONTHS LATER
“Fuck, I’m so nervous,” you admit, feeling your hands shaking. You catch Clarissa’s eye through the mirror and see her smiling sympathetically.
“I remember that feeling,” she nods, reaching up to hold your arms. She squeezes them comfortingly and then lets go, returning to fussing with your hair.
“Are you okay?” you check, frowning slightly. “I mean, with everything. I was so concerned about Dad I never stopped to think about how you feel about all this.”
Clarissa offers you an appreciative smile and you turn around to face her properly.
“I know from experience that the man you’re about to marry is one of the kindest, most loving men you’ll ever meet,” she starts to explain, reaching up to fuss with your hair piece. “And things didn’t work out between us for a reason. I was always meant to be with your Dad, and I guess you were always meant to be with Jensen. I know his intentions are pure, and that’s all that we can ask for.”
You smile slightly at her blessing. “Thanks, Clarissa, for everything. Not just with Jensen and my Dad, but… you’ve always been like a Mom to me, and I’ve never thanked you enough for that.”
Clarissa chokes back tears, shaking her head and turning her face away. She wraps her arms around you and hugs you, then pulls back and laughs slightly, reaching for a tissue to dab her eyes dry. “You’ve got me going already,” she complains. “Your father hasn’t even seen you yet, there’ll be more tears then I’m sure.”
You laugh softly, nodding your head in agreement. You can’t help but feel like there’s going to be a lot more tears throughout the day.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” You turn to look at your father completely, looking up into his eyes. “Because if you’re having second thoughts then the car is just outside, I can get you in there and we can just go,” he offers.
You laugh, shaking your head. “As much as I’m sure you’d love that, he’s the only one for me, Dad.”
Jared takes a deep breath and nods his head. “Alright,” he agrees, reaching up and cupping the side of your face. “Alright, baby girl. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
He lets go when the music starts, and you once again turn to face the front, hooking your arm into his. Nerves are making every inch of you clammy, your heart thudding so hard it hurts, sickness pressing at the base of your throat. But as the doors open and you’re greeted by the room full of people, your eyes only search for and find Jensen, and he instantly beams, not taking his eyes off of you as your father walks you closer and closer. Each step gets easier as you walk towards Jensen, and when you reach the end of the aisle, you turn to your father, giving him your full attention for a moment. There are already tears in his eyes as he leans down to kiss your cheek.
“Love you, baby girl,” he whispers, before taking your hand and offering it to Jensen. “Look after her,” he warns.
Jensen takes your hand, squeezing it lovingly.
“Always,” he agrees, and as your father slips away and sits down, suddenly the whole world is swallowed, and it’s just you and Jensen, standing there, staring at each other and the lifetime ahead of you.
THE END
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