Chapter Tags: teasing, flirting, fluff, slight angst, mentions of break up, paranoia
Chapter WC: 2039
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ONE MONTH LATER
Your POV
“I have nothing to wear,” you complain, sorting through the clothes in your closet.
The majority of them are work clothes, smart dresses or skirts and formal blouses. You’ve had very few casual clothes the whole time you’ve been at Jensen’s. It hadn’t bothered you too much until now. You work so much that you practically live in those clothes anyway, and by the time you get home, you just want to climb into some sweats and an oversized shirt. But times like these make you realise you really need to go shopping. Or – worse – message your ex and ask for your things back. Shopping seems much more preferable considering you’ve not talked to Drew since you left New York. You’d only regretted giving him the ultimatum for a split second, but the moment you saw him struggle to choose, you knew it was over. After all, how can you spend the rest of your life with someone who clearly wants that life in a completely different state to you?
“That doesn’t sound like a problem to me.” You roll your eyes, feeling hands ghost over your hips, pulling your body back tight against his, his breath hot on the side of your neck. “You look pretty good in nothing.”
“Jensen,” you complain, turning around in his arms. You wrap your own around his neck and look him in the eye. “Seriously, I’ve got nothing to wear for Dad’s this weekend.”
“You look good like this,” he teases, his hands settling on your ass, just under the hem of the shirt you’re wearing.
“Because wearing nothing but your shirt to my father’s place is not going to raise any awkward questions,” you sass, sarcastically.
“No, but it might raise something,” he smirks, leaning in to kiss you.
You turn your face, laughing at him, and his lips catch your cheek instead. “Behave yourself.” You relent and kiss his lips, shaking your head in disapproval. “Still trying to earn that fifth star, I see,” you smirk.
“I didn’t think it would take this long. It’s been over a month,” he complains.
“I can’t just award you a fifth star, then you’ll get complacent,” you tease, flashing him a wink before turning back to your closet and the issue at hand.
“Oh, I see how it is,” Jensen scoffs. He pulls away and you glance back to watch him sit down on the bed. You giggle, but don’t reply, reaching for the only pair of jeans you have here, and trying to find a top that isn’t too smart or too scruffy. “Well, I can still earn boyfriend stars,” he speaks up again. “Get dressed and I’ll take you shopping before we have to go.”
Driving to a mall a couple towns over is a wise call on Jensen’s part, because at least no one will know or recognise you here. You’re not quite brave enough to hold hands as you walk around, but Jensen does steal the odd kiss after he’s checked that the coast is clear. As the day goes on you get a little more comfortable being in public with him, old habits coming back like they never left. You never could be with Jensen so openly, even if you were in a sea of strangers. There has always been that niggle in the back of your mind that if you’re even remotely public, the word could get back to your father, and that’s the last thing you want or need right now.
“I’m starving,” you announce, feeling your stomach grumbling.
“Alright, let’s eat. But before then… are you sure you don’t need any new underwear?” Jensen smirks as you approach a lingerie shop.
“Behave yourself. The last thing we need is to be spotted in a store like that together,” you scoff.
“No one knows us here,” he insists, stepping closer to you. “In fact, I’d very happily kiss you right here right now,” he goes on.
“As tempting as that sounds, we shouldn’t risk it,” you tell him, even though your faces are intimately close and it would probably make no difference if you were kissing or not, this kind of position easily gives away just how close the two of you are. Jensen squints his eyes at you for a moment. “What?” you ask curiously.
“Eight years ago you’d have had your tongue down my throat by now,” he notes casually.
“I grew up, Jensen,” you remind him, stepping back and starting to walk away. You glance back to see his eyes have dropped to your ass and giggle.
“Yeah, you have,” he agrees, walking a little quicker to catch you up.
You laugh at his comment, rounding the corner as you come face to face with someone familiar.
“Casey.” You force a smile to your lips, already feeling extremely awkward. This is the first time you’ve encountered a student off of school grounds.
“Miss Padalecki,” she replies. “Oh, Mr. Ackles,” she adds when Jensen joins your side.
“Hey Casey,” Jensen replies, clearly feeling just as awkward. “What’re you doing so far away from school?”
“I have family here, I’m staying at my Uncle’s for Memorial Day weekend,” she explains briefly.
“Sounds lovely, we are also having a barbeque… with family… Jen– Mr. Ackles is family,” you rush to explain awkwardly.
“Well, more a family friend,” Jensen interrupts.
“Right,” you agree, even though now you’re just completely confused as to why he’d correct you like that. Surely just letting Casey believe that you’re family is easier and makes this entire situation look far less suspicious.
“Well, have a good weekend, Casey,” Jensen smiles politely, pressing his hand to your back to prompt you to keep walking.
You’re noticeably flustered as you walk away, continually glancing back to see Casey’s reaction to seeing the two of you.
“Relax, we’re just two adults in a mall,” Jensen laughs softly. “Not like she caught me on top of you.”
“She may as well have,” you tell him nervously.
Jensen smiles fondly at you, and then gestures that you should enter the restaurant you’re passing. You’re not hungry anymore, but you could do with a drink. You and Jensen are shown to a booth and handed menus, and Jensen isn’t shy about sitting next to you rather than opposite you.
You stare at the menu for several seconds, but you can’t focus on the words, your encounter with Casey playing over and over in your mind.
“Why did you correct me?” you ask him, putting your menu down. Jensen frowns ever so slightly, so you jog his memory. “With Casey. We could’ve just let her believe you’re family because… you are, but you told her you’re a family friend. That makes it more suspicious,” you explain.
Jensen nods in understanding and then drops his hand under the table, reaching for yours as he links your fingers together.
“I figured the fewer people who think that we’re family, the better,” he says, squeezing your hand.
“Why?” you press, confused.
“Because, sweetheart, one day, I think I want the world to know about us.”
You smile as you watch Jensen and Clarissa chatting, laughing about something. You’re not close enough to hear the conversation, but they seem to be enjoying themselves. Jensen takes a sip of his beer and nods enthusiastically at whatever Clarissa is saying. Your smile fades slightly as you watch them, your feet kicking mindlessly back and forth in the water as you sit on the edge of the pool. You can’t help but keep thinking about what Jensen had said the day before, that one day he wants the world to know about you. At first the admission had been so exciting, the idea of never having to hide your love away again, the thought of being with him publicly. But the longer you’ve had to think about it, the more you’ve started thinking about the reality of that.
There are so many elements of your relationship with Jensen that people could have an issue with. And the one thing that usually bothers people the most – the large age gap – is pretty low down on the list of reasons why you two shouldn’t be together. There’s also the fact that he’s your boss, and that he was once your principal. And then there’s the fact that not only is he your father’s best friend, but he was once your uncle. He was once married to a woman that you share flesh and blood with. And if you come out, if you tell people about the two of you, then that means telling Clarissa, and your grandparents, and worse of all; your father.
But if you don’t come out, if you never tell anyone about this, then is this really a relationship that can last? How long can you keep this secret? You’ll never be able to get married or have children – if Jensen even wants that with you – and you’ll never be able to share something that means more to you than anything else with the people you’re closest to. It was one of the reasons you settled with Drew, because you could do all of that stuff without being judged for it. What if you and Jensen coming out tears your entire family apart?
“Hey, baby girl.”
You turn your head to see your father sitting down beside you, dipping his own feet into the pool. You watch him notice Jensen and Clarissa and a small smile spreads over his lips.
“I think they get along better now than they did when they were married,” you comment, laughing softly, trying to push all your heavy thoughts to the back of your mind.
“I think you’re right,” Jared nods in agreement.
“How are the wedding plans coming?” you ask, hoping to make a nicer conversation than the one you’re secretly having in your mind with him. You’ve had this silent conversation a hundred times before, where you’ve told him about Jensen. He reacts differently every single time, but no time has ever ended well.
“I think we’re pretty much set,” he tells you. “I think Clarissa has your dress upstairs, actually.”
“Great, I’ll try it on sometime this weekend,” you smile.
“Talking of weddings…” he prompts, and you sigh, already knowing where he’s going with this. “How are you holding up, sweetheart?”
You can hear the sincerity in your father’s voice, and you smile softly. “I’m fine, Dad, really,” you tell him honestly.
Jared frowns at you for a moment, like he doesn’t believe you. “Hey, baby girl,” he sighs, reaching out to take your hand. “It’s okay to be upset about it. I mean, you were gonna marry him, you loved him.”
“I’m not sure I did, Dad,” you confess. “I mean, Drew loved a version of me that didn’t exist. As soon as he found out about the real me he didn’t want me. Part of who I am is my family. You and Clarissa and Jensen and… Austin, this is all part of me. But he didn’t want any of that. I didn’t want to live my life only being the one side of me that he loved. I want to be all sides of me.”
A smile breaks out over Jared’s lips and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in closer. “You’re right, kid,” he agrees.
“I’m sorry that you lost your new best friend,” you offer, smirking softly.
“Yeah, I didn’t really like him anyway,” Jared lies, making you laugh. “You’ll find someone that loves you for all of you. You deserve that.” You look over at Jensen, catching his eye as he smiles softly and then turns his attention back to Clarissa.
“Yeah, I hope so,” you agree with your dad, knowing that Jensen is that guy for you. If only you could tell your dad that.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he prompts, pushing you back and looking you in the eye. “All I want… all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy,” he tells you sincerely.
He hugs you again, and once more your eyes land on Jensen, and you wonder just how true that might be.
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