Chapter Tags: angst, flirting, teasing, groping, slut shaming, mentions of casual sex, major angst
Chapter WC: ± 1.6K
Read this fic 4 weeks ahead when you Subscribe! Super Impatient? Buy the fic in full as a PDF and binge read!
Jensen’s POV
Jensen has missed this. He smiles softly to himself, hardly able to believe that he’s got this back, and then he turns his head once more to look at her, just to check she’s not opened the door on the highway to duck and roll out of the car. But she’s still there, sitting in the passenger seat, her hands in her lap as she stares out the window. He can’t stop his mind from wandering back to other car journeys they used to take.
At first, his mind goes all the way back to the trip they took eight years ago, driving home for Christmas, Y/N wearing that slutty version of her uniform, teasing him with stockings and a low buttoned blouse. Jensen can still remember how hard he squeezed that steering wheel, trying his best not to react. Now he only regrets all the time he wasted fighting his feelings. He should’ve kissed Y/N back the second her lips pressed against his that first time at Jared’s birthday party.
He finds himself smirking a little as his mind wanders to a different car ride, one a little deeper into their relationship, once Jensen had given in completely, resigned to the undeniable chemistry and gravitational pull. It had been a long week, and they were driving to get pizza, and if Jensen closes his eyes he can still hear her voice coming from the passenger seat.
“You know, I think I’m hungry for something else,” she purrs, her hand reaching across into his lap. Jensen nearly swerves into the next lane, but he straightens up, laughing slightly at her. “What d’you think?” she prompts.
“I think you should put those hands back in your own lap if you wanna make it to the pizza place alive,” Jensen protests, smirking.
“You’ve never been jerked off in the car before?” she asks, blinking over at him.
Jensen scoffs, his cock starting to harden in his jeans at the very thought. “Not while driving,” he admits. “You can’t keep your hands to yourself for five minutes, can you?”
“Do you want me to?” she smirks, biting her bottom lip. “Anyways, now you know how it feels.”
“I’m not this bad,” Jensen argues, her hand finding his half hard erection and starting to rub. He grunts softly under his breath, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Y/N, who giggles. He’s hardly about to stop her though, not now.
“You’re always touching me, trying to feel my little pussy,” she tells him coyly. She twists her body back to face forwards, her hand still very much groping him through his jeans, and then starts to spread her legs, that pathetic excuse for a school skirt riding up to reveal her black lacy panties.
“You wore panties today,” Jensen notes, trying to keep his voice casual. Y/N just giggles, rubbing over the front of them.
“Shouldn’t have bothered, they’re so wet.” Her hand leaves his crotch, and her fingers wrap around his wrist, guiding his hand between her legs. “See?”
“Why did you tell him?”
Jensen’s snap back to reality is harsh as he looks across at Y/N and sees her blinking at him. She hasn’t changed an awful lot from the girl that used to share his bed; her hair is a little different, her body more mature now, which only makes her even more attractive in Jensen’s opinion. The biggest change is her clothes. Long gone are the days of short skirts and tight dresses, now it’s jeans and blouses, or baggy t-shirts. It’s more respectful – sexier, even. It leaves something to Jensen’s imagination, which has been loving running wild the last few days.
“Jensen,” she prompts, making him realise he’s not replied yet.
“Tell who what?” he asks, trying to catch up. Y/N purses her lips, like Jensen’s supposed to know what he’s done so wrong besides sending her away to college for the chance of a good future.
“Drew. Why did you tell him I failed highschool?”
Jensen frowns for a moment, his eyes glancing between her and the road a few times. “He didn’t know?”
“No! Of course he didn’t know!” she raises her voice.
“You say that like it’s obvious you would lie to him about it. I mean, yeah there are some things I assumed you’ve left out, but failing high school wasn’t one of them,” Jensen defends.
“Well, it was,” she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Why?” Jensen finds himself asking. He’s met with silence for a moment, so he looks across at her. She takes a deep breath and swallows hard, looking down at her lap.
“Because I’m ashamed about that whole part of my life,” she confesses. “I didn’t want him to know, okay? It’s none of your business.”
Jensen licks his lips, fighting the urge to argue with her. She’s right, of course; what she chooses to tell or not tell her fiancé isn’t his business.
“So what else haven’t you told him?” Jensen pries, because apparently he just can’t help himself. Even though he’d decided seconds before that this isn’t his place, his mouth has tried to push him in.
“You, obviously,” she confesses quietly. Jensen had never been completely certain that she hadn’t told Drew. If they were getting married, Jensen had to assume they were close, told each other everything, and maybe that had included him. But Drew hadn’t treated Jensen in a way that suggested he knew, so Jensen figures him not knowing makes sense. He can’t help but feel a little relieved about the confirmation, though. One more person knowing about their relationship is one step closer to Jared ever finding out, and given how close Drew and Jared apparently are now, there’s no guarantee Drew wouldn’t end up blabbing. “And the rest of the guys,” Y/N adds, even more quietly, breaking Jensen’s train of thought.
“All of them?” Jensen frowns. Y/N doesn’t reply, but that’s an answer in itself. “Did you play your innocent virgin card on him?”
“I don’t want to talk about that with you,” she tells him shortly, turning her head to look out the window.
“Why not?”
“Why not? Because you’re my fucking ex, Jensen. And a week ago you kissed me–”
“You kissed me,” Jensen interrupts, correcting her. She did kiss him, he remembers it crystal clear because he hasn’t stopped thinking about it. She kissed him, which means she still has feelings for him, even if she wants to pretend she doesn’t. But she can’t pretend forever, and now that she’ll be living with him, that wall is going to crumble pretty quickly; Jensen’s sure of it.
“It doesn’t matter,” she protests. “My relationship with Drew isn’t your business.”
Jensen tells himself to let it lie. And he does for a couple of minutes. But he can’t help thinking about it. If Y/N hasn’t told Drew about any of the guys before him, he must not really know her. And not that Jensen would ever shame or judge her for the amount of guys she slept with back then, but they did happen, and it was a big part of her life for a while. It makes her who she is. Has she really played the part of this sweet, naive girl their entire relationship? Surely she’s exhausted by now. She’s never had to pretend with Jensen, he knows it all, there’s no nasty secrets – at least, he can’t imagine there are – he’s been there for all of it. He’s stuck by her, he’s loved her anyway.
“So Drew is marrying a fictional person,” Jensen finds himself saying aloud.
“Excuse me?” Y/N presses, glaring.
“Well, if he doesn’t know about all that stuff, then he doesn’t really know you, does he?”
“Wow,” Y/N scoffs. “You know, Jensen, I’m more than just the men I slept with. Drew sees the side of me that no one else does.”
“He sees one side of you, he doesn’t see all of you. Are you sure you wanna marry a man like that? Keep playing this role for the rest of your life?”
“I’m not playing anything, Jensen. So what, I left out a few details about my past. It doesn’t matter, it’s history, I can’t change it and it’s over.”
“But you also shouldn’t be ashamed of it,” Jensen tells her sincerely.
“I’m not ashamed of it,” she argues. Jensen looks over at her and she glares. “I’m not.”
“Then tell him the truth, if he’s as great as you say he is then he won’t care if he’s your first of your thousandth.”
“No, I don’t need to tell him, I know he wouldn’t care. That’s not the point. Drew sees me, he sees all my potential, and he sees the stuff that no one else does, because when people know about my past all they see is a slut. And I’m more than that.”
“You think I don’t see past all that? You don’t think I know your potential? Why do you think I pushed you to graduate? Why do you think I pushed you to go to college? I’ve always seen you as more than a slut, Y/N. Quite frankly, I’m insulted that you put Drew on some pedestal for doing what I’ve always done.”
Y/N stays quiet for a long moment, and Jensen almost regrets what he’s said, because he doesn’t want to push her away before they’ve even gotten to school. But, he can’t sit there and hear her talk about how amazing Drew is for not just being like every other guy that fucked her and left, not when Jensen never went anywhere. Not when he was the first person to try to make her believe in herself – the first person to try to fix her. Drew doesn’t get the credit for that.
“I’m hungry, there’s a diner just up the road,” he says more quietly this time.
“Sure,” she agrees just as quietly, and Jensen sighs, worried he’s already fucked everything up.
![Don’t Wake Me Up || Chapter Fourteen [FIN]](https://thepublishinghive.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Screenshot-2026-01-02-at-12.51.34.png)
Leave a ReplyCancel reply