Chapter Tags: guilt, shame, nerves, anxiety, religious references, confusion, forced marriage
Chapter WC: 2047
The King’s Blessing Masterlist
Your POV
You can’t slow your breathing no matter how many times you try. Everytime you take a deep breath, your body only seems to panic even more, and you think you might be sick. You keep your eyes fixed on the reflection of yourself before you, and try to take in the beautiful details of your dress. White lace trims and tiny jewels that glisten in the sunlight beaded throughout. You’ve had several members of the castle staff surrounding you all morning, helping you dress, twisting and braiding your hair, placing flowers into it. You feel a little claustrophobic, but you try to keep your focus on the day ahead and not on the night before.
You can still taste the wine on your tongue, and feel the cold flagstones beneath your knees. The very thought of that alone makes you feel sick, and it’s only made worse with nerves for your wedding. You can’t stop thinking about the king’s words. About how your duty is to him above your husband. Above the Lord himself. How are you to make vows to God today that you will remain faithful and honour your husband, knowing that there’s a very likely chance that your king will wish for you to service him?
You can’t disobey your king, but you also don’t want to disobey your husband or worse, God. You feel so guilty even thinking about hurting Dean like that. Even just thinking about the night before makes you feel undeserving of someone as loyal and loving as the prince. Is God punishing you for lying with another man before you’re married? While the king calls it a blessing, it feels more like a curse. Only bad things have come of it, so far, and now the king wants more from you.
You hadn’t wanted to service him with your mouth the night before, but it felt like you didn’t have much choice. He is still your king, and he was right, you were yet to be wed then. You didn’t have anyone else to honour like you did him. And the wine was making your head fuzzy, and at the time you’d thought that maybe if you just did as he’d ask, then he’d take mercy on you and leave you alone once you become his son’s wife. But now that the wine has gone, and you’re thinking more clearly, you’re fairly sure that was a very naive thing for you to believe.
You want to see the queen, too. You don’t want to marry her son without having spoken to her about the night before. You want her to know that you love and respect Dean, and that you’d never want to do anything that disrespects her or her marriage to the king, either. But she has to know that her husband is the king and he can tell anyone to do anything and they have to do it, right? Though the queen has always been less than welcoming towards you, even after all these years. Has she always known that her husband would want you to service him?
“I’d like to see the queen,” you tell one of the chambermaids adorning your body with a diamond necklace.
The maid glances over to another maid, and then forces a smile in your direction.
“I’m afraid the queen is far too busy, your highness,” she tells her. “She’ll be with the prince.”
You just nod, suddenly feeling a lot less confident about facing the queen after the last time you saw her, anyway. So you accept your fate and return to staring at yourself, watching as you become more and more of a princess.
“What about the priest? I wish to speak with the priest,” you say next, feeling the pressure of your guilt start to build higher and higher. Maybe if you can get a blessing – a real blessing from God – then things will be easier. “I would like to confess before I am married.”
One of the chambermaids leaves your side, and you take some deep breaths, hoping a confession and some prayers will ease your mind before the moment arrives for you to marry Dean. You don’t want the day to be tarnished by your guilt and shame. This should be the happiest day of your life. You’re about to become Dean’s wife. You’re finally going to become a Princess of Lawrence by his side. This has been your destiny since you were born; to one day become queen, and who better to serve beside than a man like Dean?
You don’t need to wait long for the priest to arrive at your chambers, and as he approaches you, the chambermaids make themselves scarce.
“You wished to see me, my child?” he asks softly.
“Father Shurley,” you breathe out, suddenly feeling even more nervous. “I wish to make a confession before I am wed.”
Father Shurley’s eyebrows raise slightly, but he nods his head, looking around the two of you before leading you out to your balcony.
“Go ahead, my child, speak freely, the Lord is listening.”
“Forgive me father, for I have sinned,” she begins, unable to look the man of God in the eye. But the priest stays quiet, so Y/N continues. “I feel I have betrayed the Lord, and I fear I’ll have no choice but to do it again.”
“Why might that be, child?” he prompts.
“The betrayal is never my choice, Father, and I cannot disobey my king. But surely I should be faithful to God above all else?”
Father Shurley’s eyebrows raise slightly at the question and he clears his throat.
“Your grace, you are a princess, residing in the kingdom of Lawrence, the king is not bound by the wrath of God. The Lord speaks to him in ways you may never understand.”
“So if my king asks something of me, it’s the Lord’s doing?” you check. “Does the bible not say that a woman should only lay with her husband?
“We don’t question the king, your highness,” Father Shurley reminds you. “He is the man God chose to rule us.”
You swallow hard and nod your head, secretly disappointed that you didn’t hear what you’d wanted to. But you can’t change the way the world works, you suppose, or God’s will.
“Would you like to pray with me?” the priest offers.
“Please, Father,” you nod, smiling gratefully at him.
You close your eyes and try to clear your mind, focusing only on what you want to say to the Lord.
Father, please forgive me for my wrongdoings, for any sins I have committed against your name. I will graciously accept any punishment you see fit.
You’ve never seen so many people. You didn’t even realise Lawrence had so many, you can hear the excited chatter in the streets, and you try to take deep, calming breaths as you await your entrance, but you can hear whispers, and can see the way people are looking at you. Do they know? Do they know that you were in the king’s chambers only last night? Do they know your sins? Does Dean? What if he doesn’t understand? What if he doesn’t wish to marry you anymore, or only does it out of obligation?
But all your worries are forced to one side when you’re informed it’s time for you to walk down the aisle, and music begins to play out around you. You take your place in front of the large double doors and wait, glad for the safety of your veil, masking you from the outside world. The doors creak open and the music grows louder, people turning in their places to get a good view of you. There are a lot of important faces surrounding you, but none of them you recognise. You finally notice Sam standing close to the front, but he’s not looking at you, in fact his face is red and it looks like he’s been crying. As you get closer, he even turns his face away. You frown slightly, confused by his reaction, but continue your descend, until you realise you cannot see your prince. Your eyes search for him, but he’s not there at the altar, and neither is Mary.
John moves into view and smiles widely at you, holding out his hand to help you climb the stairs to the altar. You hesitate but take the offer, completely confused as to where your betrothed is, and what might be going on.
“You look beautiful, little lady,” John compliments quietly, and you force him a smile, still looking around for Dean.
“Where is my betrothed, your majesty?” you finally ask, once you reach the top, and John just smirks deeper, and as the music dies, he turns to face the congregation.
“Thank you for joining us today, some people have travelled far,” John notes. “Today we are filled with sorrow and joy.” You look at John, wondering what’s happening, why there’s sorrow on a day where there is only meant to be happiness and celebration.
“Sorrow that we have lost our queen and my beloved, Mary,” he explains, and you can’t stop your face from reacting to the shocking news, your eyes widening and your mouth falling open. Why had no one informed you of the tragedy? “But joy, because I shall be taking a new queen today,” John smiles, reaching for your hand. “Princess Y/N of Elming.”
Whispers start to alight around the room, and in the hustle of confusion and gossip, you find the noise you need for your voice to get lost amongst.
“Your majesty,” you try to whisper to him, completely confused by his words. You’re supposed to be marrying Dean, but he’s nowhere to be seen. And Queen Mary is dead? Is Dean dead too? Is that why he’s not here?
“Let us begin the ceremony,” John announces, ignoring your words and silencing the crowd.
The king forces you to turn to face Father Shurly, who doesn’t seem surprised by the news, and you wonder why he didn’t inform you of these matters when he was in your chambers barely an hour ago.
This isn’t right, you’re not supposed to marry John. You’re not supposed to become a queen this way.
Is this God’s will? Is this a fitting punishment for your sins? You suppose it must be. As Father Shurley reminded you, King John is the Lord’s chosen ruler, he talks to God in ways you never can.
The entire ceremony is a blur, and you barely hear your own voice as you recite your vows. John’s voice is a low grumble of background noise, and you keep your eyes fixed on Father Shurley, hoping to find some kind of comfort in the bible held within his hands. This is God’s will, you keep reminding yourself, hoping to get through it.
And you just about stomach it until the end, until the priest announces you are man and wife, and John pulls you close and kisses you on the mouth right there for everyone to see. The congregation applauds, but you don’t feel a single ounce of the same joy inside you, and you try to subtly pull away before the kiss is over.
With the vows exchanged, the coronation begins, and with your hand on the bible you swear your oath to your new found kingdom. You lower yourself to your knees, tilting your head towards your king as you feel the weight of the crown placed upon it, and your mind is still spinning as you hear your now-husband’s voice sound out.
“Please rise as the Queen of Lawrence.”
You slowly stand back to full height, feeling John’s forceful grip spin you around to face the rest of the onlookers, but the first face your eyes land on is Sam’s, and he’s quick to move through the pew he’s sitting at, leaving the church around the outskirts of the building. Your eyes now cast over the other faces, instead, as you feel John take your hand and squeeze it.
“Smile, little lady, you’re now their queen.”
You force a smile and lift your hand, waving slowly at them, realising God’s wrath really is cruel.
![Don’t Wake Me Up || Chapter Fourteen [FIN]](https://thepublishinghive.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Screenshot-2026-01-02-at-12.51.34.png)
Leave a Reply to Sara RobinsonCancel reply