Chapter Tags: angst, jealousy, regret, remorse, nerves
Chapter WC: 1775
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Jensen’s POV
Jensen pours himself another drink and turns the stereo up several more notches, but it’s no use. He’d never realised that the spare bed could squeak that much, or that the walls in this house are not soundproof. God, he wishes they were. He can’t help but feel his stomach twist with jealousy, his jaw clenching every time he hears her. Once upon a time he made her make those noises. That just doesn’t seem fair.
He shoots the whiskey back and instantly pours another. He could go up there, tell them to keep the noise down. It is his house, after all. But he realises he would just be that jealous asshole ex, and it would be obvious the real reason he’s cockblocking them. And he’s hardly in Y/N’s good books right now, anyway. Not that he can blame her for that one. He really has been a total douche. He swigs back the next measure of whiskey and places his glass down, shutting off the music and heading towards the door, before grabbing his coat and leaving the house.
He sets off up the path towards the school, hoping to clear his head a little, digging his hands in his pockets to keep the chill of the night at bay. His head drops and he watches his feet as he walks, thinking about everything that’s transpired over the last few days. What caused Y/N to lock herself in her bedroom for two days, and then Drew turning up on his doorstep earlier that night.
He might not like the guy, but he has to give credit where credit is due; turning up to surprise Y/N was a sweet touch. Jensen only clenches his jaw once more, hating that he’s actually starting to warm to the guy. This guy near enough admitted to Jensen being unfaithful less than two weeks ago. But then again, Jensen realises he was an ass to even test him in the first place, and besides, there’s no proof. The dude wouldn’t even check that girl out, and Jensen had been so hellbent on finding something wrong with Jared’s perfect future son in law, maybe he’d read too much into it. When the bitter truth is, Drew is probably just a great guy – better than Jensen ever will be, and Y/N deserves someone like him way more than she’ll ever deserve Jensen.
After all, Jensen pushed her to go to college for a reason; because it was the right thing for her. It was the thing that he thought would make her the happiest in the long run, regardless of his own selfish wants and needs. He has to do the same thing again, doesn’t he? Otherwise all that was for nothing.
Jensen crinkles his nose but tries to hide it behind his mug as he watches Y/N lean in to kiss Drew yet again. She giggles as she pulls back and then slides down off the barstool, offering him a top up of his coffee. At least she’s left her room now, though Jensen is fairly certain that’s only because Drew is around. She’s not looked at him once since he came downstairs.
“You should show me your new classroom,” Drew says, “I’d love to see it.”
“I do have to take a few bits up there to get ready for tomorrow,” Y/N agrees, kissing the side of his head as she rounds him to sit back down, two fresh mugs of coffee in her hands.
“Great, if there’s anything else you need then I’m here, I’m not flying back until tomorrow, if that’s okay with Jensen,” Drew explains, looking over at him.
“Fine,” Jensen manages to convincingly say, tipping his mug slightly. It’s not fine, but he can’t say that, really.
“Great,” Drew smiles. He kisses Y/N softly and then gets up. “I’m gonna shower.”
Y/N glances towards Jensen for the first time that morning and then clears her throat. “I will join you.”
“Babe,” Drew whispers, his eyes darting towards Jensen a little embarrassed.
“He doesn’t care,” Y/N protests bluntly. Jensen gets the message loud and clear; she doesn’t care.
“I’ve got work to do,” Jensen excuses, dumping the rest of his coffee down the sink and deciding to head up to his office in the school early. He’s definitely not sticking around for that shower.
He listens to them both climb the stairs and leans on the counter, hanging his head between his shoulders as he huffs out a breath. This being happy for Y/N crap is harder than he thought. In fact, it just downright sucks.
Jensen manages to avoid Y/N and his replacement for most of the day. He busies himself with paperwork and making sure things are in order for the start of the semester. He takes a little longer than usual, wanting to stay clear of his own house for as long as possible. Hopefully if he gets back late enough he can insist on an early night and go straight to bed. Y/N will see through it, probably, but Drew at least will buy it. The last thing Jensen needs is that guy telling Y/N or Jared that he was rude or hostile towards him. That’s a conversation he’d rather not have with either of them.
It’s coming up to five in the evening when he hears movement outside his office door, and then there’s a knock on it and he smiles at the familiar face that pokes her head around it.
“Michaela,” he grins.
“Hey you,” she beams, letting herself in. “Happy New Year.”
“And you,” Jensen smiles, standing up to greet her with a hug. “How were your holidays?” He digs his hands into his pockets and perches himself on the edge of his desk.
“Busy, but everyone had a great time,” she nods, “which reminds me. Ollie and Daisy loved their presents and told me to thank Uncle Jensen,” she smirks softly. “You didn’t have to, but thank you.”
“No problem,” Jensen insists, smiling. “How’s Harry?”
“He’s fine, he’s looking after the kids while I sort a few things out for tomorrow.”
“Y’know you could’ve sorted those out tomorrow, made the most of your last few hours of break,” Jensen smirks.
“Are you kidding me? I need a break from them now,” she scoffs. “I won’t be long, promise.”
“Good, I don’t want you still out there by the time I leave.”
“No, Sir,” she jokes, saluting.
Jensen laughs at her response, and then licks his lips. “Michaela?” he calls back, making her stop in the doorway. “Just wanted to give you a heads up, do you remember Y/N Padalecki?”
At the mention of her name, Michaela’s smile drops ever so slightly. “How could I forget her?” she tries to joke.
“Well, she’s our new English teacher. Temp for now,” Jensen tells her. “I know she gave you a hard time when she was a student here, but a lot has changed in eight years, and hopefully you two will make amends,” he explains.
“A lot has changed,” she nods in agreement. “I’m sure we’ll be just fine. Thanks for the heads up.” She smiles genuinely at him and then leaves, and Jensen stares at the door for a moment, remembering just how jealous Y/N used to be of Michaela, back when she had a crush on Jensen.
Not long after Y/N left for college, Michaela met Harry and they got married within a year, and Jensen’s fairly sure Michaela hasn’t thought twice about him in that way since. Sometimes he misses the attention, but most of the time he’s just relieved that he gets to have a more relaxed relationship with her now. He prefers it this way, and he gets along well with Harry and loves seeing their kids when they visit every now and then. He’s happy for her, happy she found what she was looking for.
Jensen sits back at his desk and glances towards the door before reaching down into the bottom drawer, finding the whiskey bottle and empty glass. He brings both to the tabletop and pours himself a small measure, replacing the lid to the bottle when his eyes fall on the photo frame in the open drawer. He bends down to retrieve it, smiling softly at the photo of him and Y/N from back when they were together. Nothing too coupley or obvious, because she posted it online, but they look happy; and they were. How did he fuck it up so spectacularly? He blindly sips his drink and then puts the photo back in the drawer, pushing it closed with his foot before pouring a second measure, just enough to numb the pain a little more.
The air is a little on the colder side as Jensen stands at the bottom of the school drive first thing Monday morning, waiting to begin the first day of the semester. Y/N finally peels herself away from Drew and wipes the tears from her cheeks, she and Jensen head silently up the path to the school.
“You’re gonna be amazing,” Jensen reassures her. Y/N doesn’t reply at first so he takes a deep breath. “Listen, Y/N, for what it’s worth, the last few days–”
“Not now Jensen, please,” she pleads quietly.
Jensen swallows and nods his head, understanding. “Of course.” He waits a few moments before adding, “I didn’t just offer you the job because your father told me to, I wouldn’t put my girls’ educations at risk like that. I offered you the job because I know you’ll do great.”
“Thanks, Jensen,” Y/N replies, and she seems genuine this time.
“I’ll introduce you to the rest of the staff in the morning meeting, and I’m sure you’ll do great. I’ll be there all day if you need me.”
Y/N stops, so Jensen stops with her, turning around to finally face her as she digs her hands in her coat pockets and looks around them.
“Do you really think I can do this?” she checks.
“Sweetheart,” Jensen smiles warmly, “I think you can do anything. If only you could see yourself the way we do.”
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