Chapter Tags: teasing, flirting, angst, mentions of abandonment, mentions of cheating, mentions of divorce, inappropriate feelings/relationship, kissing
Chapter WC: 2841
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Jensen’s POV
The couple of days before Christmas are slow and awkward. Keeping up any kind of appearance for Clarissa’s parents is always tough, but this year there’s just so much going on that Jensen can’t keep up with himself. It’s Christmas Eve, and Jensen finds himself alone with Jared, sitting in the study by the open fire with a whiskey each.
“I don’t know how you still put up with them,” Jensen scoffs, sipping some more whiskey. Jared laughs softly, shaking his head.
“They’re Y/N’s family – still your family too, dude.”
“Yeah, but all the lies man, it’s not healthy,” Jensen notes.
“You know what they’re like, they’ve been like that since we met them,” Jared shrugs. “At least we only have to see them once a year.”
“Thank fuck for that, too,” Jensen laughs, holding up his glass before taking a swig.
“So how is my daughter?” Jared asks. Jensen almost chokes on his drink when he misinterprets the question to begin with. “Her grades are that bad, huh?”
Jensen laughs in overcompensation, and shakes his head. “They’re getting better, I think they’ll be better again next semester,” he blags. Jared smiles, though, meaning he’s bought the white lie.
“Good, I’m glad this is working out for her.”
Jensen nods in agreement, and then desperately searches for something to change the subject.
“Ah fuck,” he blurts out upon the realisation.
“What?”
“I haven’t gotten gifts this year. The semester was stressful, I just totally spaced.”
Jared purses his lips slightly, “well, it’s only really Clarissa you need to get one for, and I can help you out there.” He gets up, and Jensen watches as he heads over to his desk, opening a drawer and handing Jensen a velvet box similar in size and shape to the one Michaela gave him earlier that he hasn’t opened yet.
Jensen opens the box to reveal a necklace with a bird pendant on it.
“She has a necklace,” Jensen reminds Jared. Jared awkwardly bites his bottom lip, shrugging slightly, and then sighs heavily when he sits back down.
“She wants to take it off, dude,” he tells him carefully. “But she said she feels naked without something, so I thought I could replace it.” Jensen looks at Jared for a long moment and then considers his words. He pulls himself together and nods, clearing his throat.
“No… yeah, that’s a good idea. A thoughtful gift,” Jensen stumbles out. “What’s the bird about?”
“Just an inside joke,” Jared shrugs one shoulder. Jensen’s not sure how he feels about his wife having an inside joke with her brother-in-law – his best friend – but he’s not really in any place to judge about that. Not when he spent most of his car ride here the other day staring at Y/N and trying to keep control of his very inappropriate urges.
“Thanks man, you’ve saved my ass,” Jensen forces a smile, snapping the box shut. He finishes his drink and stands up. “Guess I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night Jen,” Jared smiles warmly.
“Yeah, night, brother.”
“Thank you, Jensen,” Clarissa smiles softly, kissing his cheek, and then her eyes glance over to Jared and land on him, and he gives her a warm smile that Jensen doesn’t miss. He doesn’t say anything, though, and watches her take the necklace out of the box.
“Oh Clarissa, you can’t take that necklace off, you’ve worn it since your wedding day,” her mom fusses.
“It’s getting old, I bought it as a replacement,” Jensen insists. May lets it go, luckily, and Jensen helps her remove the chain he got her on their wedding day, and she sets it down into the box.
“Actually, I’m gonna get another drink. Jar can you help her?” Jensen prompts, clearing his throat.
“Yeah, I can do that for you,” Jared tells her softly, moving over to her to help her put the necklace on.
Jensen gets up quickly and heads towards the kitchen, finding the whiskey bottle and pouring himself a healthy measure, swallowing it in one.
“Sweet gift,” Y/N speaks up as she enters the room. Jensen glances over at her and then away again.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, pouring another drink.
“Do I get something?”
Jensen licks his lips of whiskey and clears his throat, glancing behind him briefly.
“I urm… I had a lot on my mind this year, so I only got your Aunt something, sorry.” He can feel her close behind him, closing his eyes and telling himself to ignore her and the inappropriate thoughts that are arising.
“It’s okay, you can make it up to me.”
Jensen turns around to find her practically pressed up against him, looking up at him through her lashes.
“We should go back out there,” he whispers, flustered. She bites her lip but then nods her head.
Everyone is moving into the dining room for dinner by the time Jensen’s finished his third glass of whiskey, and he sits himself next to his wife, forcing a smile in her direction when she looks at him. Y/N is opposite him, with Jared to her left. May is one head of the table, and Frank the other, just like it has been the last few years. Conversations had been a little awkward with a whole lot of lying so far. Y/N had handled the ruse about her being at Jensen’s school for a ‘work placement’ very well, talking enthusiastically about how it’s helping her decide if she wants to become a teacher or not. Her grandparents soak up every single word, and Jensen’s almost impressed by how easily she’s able to lie. They’d managed to avoid the harder subjects of conversation for the most part, but like clockwork, they’re barely finished with the main course when May can’t help herself, bringing up Y/N’s future once more.
“Don’t go making your parents’ mistake. Your mother was only a year older than you are now when she got pregnant with you. There wasn’t even a ring on her finger.” Jensen can’t help but look at Jared and see the embarrassed, guilty expression on his face as he stares down at his plate. Jensen knows that Jared will admit getting Cait pregnant so young wasn’t his finest hour, but May brings it up a lot, like she’s never forgiven him for ‘doing that’ to her youngest daughter. While May seems to love Jensen, she only ever seems to tolerate her other son-in-law. “I’m just saying, make better choices.”
“Careful, Gran, it sounds like you didn’t want me,” Y/N jokes, passive aggressively, grabbing her glass of wine and taking a gulp.
“Oh don’t be silly, of course we wanted you. We love being grandparents, it’s only a pity we didn’t have more. Such a shame you never had any brothers or sisters… or cousins.” May’s attention turns towards him and Clarissa now, and he takes a deep breath, knowing exactly what’s coming. It’s the same every year. “You know, Clarissa, you’ve got a couple of years left in you.”
“Mom,” Clarissa warns, and Jensen knows she’s as sick as he is about the conversation. It’s been the same since they got married twelve years ago.
“I’m just saying”– May is always just saying, Jensen’s noticed –”it’s a pity, that’s all. All my friends have multiple grandkids. You know, Mary? She’s got thirteen now.”
“You barely see your only grandchild, when would you have time for more?” Jared speaks up. Jensen tries his best to hold back the smirk at Jared’s comment, and May looks taken aback. Before she can answer, Jared stands up, grabbing his plate and making a loud scene of gathering everyone else’s too. “Who wants dessert?” he asks.
Jared doesn’t wait for a reply, and he leaves the room abruptly. Jensen’s about to stand up and check on him, but May speaks up again which holds him back.
“Starting to understand why Caity left,” she mumbles to herself. Jensen’s quick to look at Y/N to see if she heard, but Y/N is too busy swigging on more wine.
“Mom? How are Jenny and Gabe?” Clarissa asks, desperately trying to change the subject.
“Oh, you don’t know? They’ve… you know… divorced.” She says the word like it’s dirty, which only irritates Jensen more. “You know, we think he cheated on her.” Clarissa glances nervously at Jensen and then away, and he grabs his own drink, deciding Y/N has the right idea.
“Well then, it sounds like she did the right thing.”
“And embarrass your poor Aunt Maggie like that? Such a shame people don’t work on their marriages anymore. Jenny should’ve tried harder.”
Jensen can tell Clarissa is getting more and more tense by the second.
“If something isn’t working then you shouldn’t force it,” she insists.
“Marriage is for life, as you know, sweetheart. We at least still have one daughter making us proud.”
Jensen places a hand on Clarissa’s briefly and whispers at her to let it go, but she ignores him.
“You know what, Mom? It’s comments like these that probably made Caitlyn think she had to run away in the first place.” The room falls silent at the mention of Y/N’s mother, and Jensen’s a little grateful Jared isn’t in the room. “I’m gonna help Jared.”
As his wife leaves, Jensen’s attention turns completely to Y/N, watching her quietly for any sign that she’s upset or uncomfortable, but she’s good at hiding both those feelings, as Jensen’s learned over the years. She offers him a weak smile all the same. It’s the same every Christmas, so maybe she’s finally used to it. Cait had always been good at diffusing situations that Clarissa usually aggravated when trying to correct their mother.
“I’m not all that hungry for dessert, shall we take a walk, May?” Frank speaks up, climbing to his feet. She agrees, and Jensen knows he’s not the only one relieved to see them letting themselves out into the yard through the french doors.
Jensen lets the silence grow for a moment, before looking at Y/N once more and speaking up.
“Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Bit of drama at Christmas, I feel like we’re in a movie.” Her smile is fake, even Jensen can tell that, and he wonders if she’s drunk too much wine to keep the mask on perfectly by now. No one seems to have noticed how often she’s refilled her glass except him, but he’s not going to mention it. He’s not her principal right now, and he also can’t blame her, he definitely needs another whiskey. Jared comes back into the room and seems shocked that it’s emptier than he left it. Clarissa must not have followed him into the kitchen like she’d said she was going to.
Y/N serves herself a slice of cake on a plate and gets up.
“I’m going to my room, Merry Christmas.” She leaves before Jared can protest, and before Jensen can speak up, he notices Clarissa over his shoulder, nodding her head towards the door to the study.
“I’ll be right back, dude,” he excuses.
“Sure,” Jared huffs, slumping back in his chair. Jensen claps Jared’s shoulder as he passes and follows his wife into the empty study.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks, digging his hands into his pockets. Clarissa doesn’t waste any time walking over to the desk and picking up a brown envelope. She sighs as she looks at it and then hands it over.
“Merry Christmas, Jensen,” she tells him softly. He slowly reaches for it, frowning slightly.
“Is this–”
“Yeah,” she interrupts. “I’ve already signed them, it’s your turn.” Jensen reaches into the open envelope and pulls the papers out, glancing over them.
“Are you sure?” he checks, feeling his mouth go a little dry. He’s wanted this for a long time, but now it’s here, it doesn’t quite feel the way he thought it would.
“Yeah, it’s time,” she nods.
“And this has nothing to do with what your Mom said at dinner?” he checks.
“I can’t just whip up papers like this in twenty minutes on Christmas Day, Jensen. I’ve thought about this a lot. You said to let you know when I’m ready, and I’m ready now.” Jensen nods his understanding.
“Okay, great.” He forces a smile and moves closer to the desk, grabbing a pen and finding the spot he needs to sign his name. As soon as it’s signed he stands up straight again, smiling at Clarissa once more.
“That’s it,” she tells him, sighing what seems to be a breath of relief. “Congrats to us.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Jensen nods, licking his lips. She clears her throat and heads over to the drinks tray in the corner of the study, pouring them both a measure of whiskey each. She hands one to Jensen and clinks her glass against it.
“Merry Christmas, Jensen, here’s to the next chapter of our lives.”
Jensen’s at least tipsy by the time he gets upstairs, but he thinks he’s finally ready to go to bed. Luckily, May and Frank are sleeping in the guest house, so no one has been subject to any more of May’s sly comments since they retired there a couple of hours before. Clarissa had also decided to call it a night early, and Jared was close behind. Jensen stops outside his bedroom door when he hears voices in Jared’s room.
At first he thinks it might be the TV, but then he hears what is unmistakably Clarissa’s laugh. He listens even harder, the drone of Jared’s voice sounds out, even though Jensen can’t make out what he’s saying, and then Clarissa giggles again. Jensen had had his suspicions for months. The necklace with their inside joke only made him more suspicious, and now this… While he knows he’s no saint, and he’s had a while to come to terms with the idea of Jared and Clarissa being close in that way, this only turns that idea into fact.
Jensen decides he isn’t drunk enough to sleep after all, and turns on his heels to head back downstairs. He finds himself in the kitchen, pouring more whiskey and swallowing it down in as few gulps as he can manage. Taking the bottle with him, he decides the study might be more private, so he heads there, only to find Y/N looking over the family photos Jared has on the shelving unit in the corner of the room.
“Oh, hey,” she tells him softly, and for once she’s not looking at him with mischief in her eyes. He almost misses that look. He could do with feeling desired right about now.
“Hey,” he replies as smoothly as he can muster. He notices that she’s wearing a short red dress and heels, a purse dangling over her shoulder. “Are you really gonna sneak out tonight?” She glances down her own body and shrugs, smirking softly. “Who are you gonna find to fuck on Christmas night?” His question is more crude than it probably would’ve been if he were sober, but he doesn’t really care anymore.
“There’s always someone who wants to fuck me, Jensen, that’s the best part,” she replies cockily. Jensen scoffs, shaking his head. “Anyway, you should be more concerned about your own sex life tonight. Shouldn’t you and Clarissa be making up for lost time?” she wrinkles her nose at her own words and Jensen scoffs once more, kinda glad to have the Y/N he knows and loves back.
“We haven’t had sex in years,” he finds himself confessing. Y/N turns around to face him, a little shocked by his statement and steps closer to him. She bites her bottom lip.
“Is that why you’re so uptight?” she teases. “You know sex is a great form of stress relief, you should try it sometime.”
She smirks cockily at him. This. This is what Jensen needs right now. The teasing, the validation, the push and pull between what his body wants and what’s right.
“Maybe I should,” he agrees. She reaches up and plays with the collar of his open shirt, smoothing it out a little. “Hey, you want your gift now?” he finds himself asking, not truly thinking it through. And even if he did stop to think about it, he’s too far gone for his drunk mind to remind him that this is a bad idea, anyway.
“I’d love it,” she encourages, looking up at him through her lashes. Jensen reaches up and grips the back of her neck, pulling her forward and kissing her. He stops for a second, assessing how that’s made him feel. There are bolts of arousal coursing through his veins, a heat already burning in the base of his stomach, and he wants to kiss her again.
“Yeah, that works for me,” he confirms.
“Me too,” she agrees, kissing him back this time.
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